Why Cooper Doesn't "Cry It Out"

*** First a disclaimer. I know many of you believe in "crying it out" and that's fine. To each their own. This is just why I don't parent that why, not why I think no one should.

1. I just hate to hear him cry. I always have. I've never been able to just sit in the next room while he screams his little head off. It just seems cruel to me.

2. Babies cry for a reason. Yes, even at almost 2, he cries for a reason. Sometimes it is just that he needs some attention and some cuddling, and I'm happy to oblige. But nonetheless still a reason. Yes I am aware that older babies and toddlers do figure out how to manipulate. But really I don't think Cooper should have to manipulate me to get his needs met. Even his snuggle needs.

3. Who likes to sleep all alone in a dark room? Not me. So why would I expect an almost 2 year old to?

4. Some say sleeping alone teaches independence, I would have to disagree. I think it teaches, "Mommy isn't going to listen to me so I might as well shut up and stop asking for her." Cooper knows if he needs me I'll always be there for him. No matter what the need. I think that makes him more comfortable in venturing out and exploring without me holding his hand.

5. I'm gone to school during the day and have to study most afternoons when I get home. Bedtime is our time together. Neither of us is willing to give that up.

6. My last reason is simple. It is what works for us. Every parent is different. Every baby is different. We all do what works best for us at any given time. If a decision we make stops working for our family we can revise our parenting style.

Birth Control: My Latest Discovery

About 8 weeks after Cooper was born I had the Mirena put in. For those of you that may not know, the Mirena is an IUD, or Intrauterine device. I thought this was this was the perfect solution because we really didn't need another baby, and my only options for BC were the progesterone-only mini pill or the Mirena because I was breastfeeding. I am an awful pill taker (Cooper is proof of this). So I opted for the Mirena. I don't have to do anything and I don't have to worry about it for 5 years!



So for the past year or so I have been completely in love with my choice of BC, even recommending it to friends! Until I got to the reproduction chapter in my Anatomy & Physiology book. It discussed some forms of BC and how they work. I was not happy at all with what it had to say. Evidently, although the Mirena does prevent the egg from being fertilized to some extent, it also just won't let it implant!



I firmly believe that life starts as as soon as egg and sperm are joined into the zygote. So to me, this is pretty much murdering any babies that might be trying to form. This is unacceptable. I am so upset with myself that I didn't do the research BEFORE I allowed the thing to be put inside me. I read the Mirena pamphlet front to back, but of course they aren't going to tell you this! JoEllen and Jessi pointed out that because I still haven't really had a period, I don't even know if I've ovulated or not, so I can't know if anything happened or not. I feel better about it because of this and I'm trying not to make myself sick over it, but its hard not be at least a little mad at myself. I want the thing gone, plain and simple. I will not be using the pill either because it does the same thing. I don't need to get pregnant right now mostly because of school, but at least I won't be killing anymore babies.

Anxiety... and lots of it!

Since I was a sophomore in high school I have had panic attacks. I start crying (sometimes for no reason at all) and soon I can't breathe at all. Sometimes I will pass out, but most of the time I can get it under control before that happens.

I was on medicine prior to getting pregnant with my first baby and for the first few weeks of the pregnancy because I didn't know that I was pregnant. I believe this may have been part of the reason I lost that baby, but I don't know. I blamed myself because of it. I never resumed medication after I miscarried.

After Cooper was born, I got postpartum depression; his traumatic birth, not sleeping, and my history of anxiety were probably contributing factors. I had a really bad panic attack in the it hospital when Cooper was 2 days old. The nurses put the oxygen saturation thingy (yes that is a technical term) on me when the attack was almost over and it was only 80%. When it was almost over! This (and not sleeping) caused me to have to spend another night in the hospital instead of taking my baby boy home. My doctor prescribed Zoloft and I was to take it until he was at least 6 months old.

When he was around 6 months old I forgot to get my prescription filled for about a week. When i remembered I realized I hadn't had it for a whole week and I felt fine! So I decided not to get it filled. I did fine. No major panic attacks. Only a couple minor ones in a span of about 5 months.

Now everything has changed. Since January, I am a full time student and along with that comes some major stress. Add to that being a wife and mother and its almost too much. Since I started school my anxiety has gotten progressively worse. I knew I had my yearly check up scheduled for this week, and planned on discussing this with her. Not a moment to soon. This past week I have had a breakdown just about everyday. Little things set me off. I feel like there is a huge weight on my chest that just won't go away. I discussed this with my doctor yesterday and she asked if I got any time by myself just for me besides school. No. Jerry works thirds so he is rarely available to even help with Cooper. It's difficult to make the time to do the work for my online classes because of our conflicting schedules. This really stresses me out. I make good grades. Its just who I am. And so far I have made good grades; they just aren't as good as I would like. She said that absolutely going back on my Zoloft would be a good thing. She also suggested that I take some time for myself. Easier said than done. Also, she suggested that I get more active, such as taking Cooper on a walk or something like that. This is easier. Cooper loves to swim and my grandparents, who live next door, have a pool. I have a feeling we will be in the pool everyday. Now it just needs to get warm so we can get out there!

I will update you on how all this goes. I feel much better now that I have gotten it out.

On a brighter note, I lost 5 pounds!

The Beginning

Well let's start at the beginning. I got pregnant the end of my junior year in high school. My then boyfriend of 1 1/2 years was happy with the news but still nervous for obvious reasons. He had only recently graduated and was finishing his 1st semester of college while working a full time job. We decided to get married the following August(separate blog later). I was 4 months pregnant at our wedding. Thank goodness I wasn't fat yet. LOL We decided to live with my parents for the time being and that has turned out to be the best decision we could have made. We are happy here for right now but are working on being able to get our own place. In January I gave birth to an 8 lbs 2 oz, 21 1/2 inch healthy baby boy that we named Cooper(more about the birth later). I think that's about all for now... Just some background info :)