The Birth of Emma Marie

I have a lot of regrets regarding Cooper's birth. Mainly the interventions I allowed that ultimately led to an emergency c-section. With Emma, I wanted to do things differently. I wanted as few interventions as possible, and I wanted to have a drug-free VBAC. Things didn't exactly turn out how I had planned.

Sunday, October 16th I woke up having contractions. No big deal. I had been having (& whining about) them for weeks. Cooper and I went to lunch with my parents, and the contractions continued. We then went to Walmart to get some groceries. After walking around Walmart for 30 minutes I was pretty sure I was in labor. I called home to wake up Jerry (who works 3rd shift) & let him know he probably wouldn't be working that night. We took a walk when I got home, and the contractions continued. I timed them & they were about 4 minutes apart but not particularly painful. Jerry wanted to go to he hospital (an hour away). I knew it was too early but agreed to call my doctor & let her know what was going on. She wanted me to come in. I didn't want to but I figured I would just get sent home anyway so we left for the hospital. At this time I'm still not in much pain.

We got to the hospital about 8 PM. I get put on monitors, and my contractions are now 2-3 minutes apart. And then they checked me. 1.5 centimeters. Yep, that's right. ONLY 1.5 with contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I was not happy but figured oh well, they will watch me for an hour and send me home. I'm hungry anyway. At the end of that hour I was 3 cm. They decided to keep me. No food for me I guess. While my doctor was checking me she thought she felt something below baby's head. She thought it was the cord. Cooper's c-section was caused by a prolapsed cord (every time I mentioned this to a nurse her eyes grew to 3x their normal size). I was terrified. But she concluded, after feeling more (this hurt. a lot.) that it was her hand.



Laboring on the birth ball



We got moved to a room and settled in. (and then we moved rooms but that's not important) In my new room my nurse had a birth ball waiting for me per my request. My contractions were getting more intense at this point but still very manageable as long as I didn't lay down in bed. I had asked for the mobile monitors so I could walk but by the time they were hooked up I was too tired for walking. I sat on my birth ball and was quite content there for most of my labor. Baby was very high so I was trying to bring her down.

Fast forward to the next morning. My doctor comes to check on me. She checks me and I'm progressing, just slowly (I think I was like 6 cm) but baby was still very high. I had been on Spinning Babies trying everything I could to bring her down. She just wasn't moving. So I keep laboring, but we were worried about baby's size and if she was going to fit. My doctor comes back around 11 AM. The baby is HIGHER than the night before. We are all a little irritated with Emma. We talk about it and decide we have 2 options: go ahead and do a c-section or try a little pitocin to see if she will come down. I was very against pitocin because it increases the risk of uterine rupture. The doctor left and let Jerry and I discuss our options. We decided to try the pitocin (slowly) to give us the best possible chance at a vaginal birth.



Kissing Cooper right before surgery



With the pitocin my contractions definitely got stronger. They were a little painful now but I felt like I was dealing well. I sat on my birth ball and groaned through them. If I tried to be quiet the contractions were much more painful. I didn't need any of the tennis balls, rice socks, or massagers I had brought. My doctor came back when we reached the highest we were willing to go with the pitocin. She checked me. 8 cm and baby was just as high and her hand was on top of her head. A c-section was going to happen. I was very upset. She did check me again in the OR just to make sure there was no change. There wasn't. I was prepped for surgery. Including a horrendous spinal block that had me crying for my husband. After I was numb and draped, they finally let him in.  Then the surgery started. This is where things get a little fuzzy in places. Some things I remember vividly and some things not so much. I remember some pulling and tugging. I was terrified of how I would feel about that prior to the surgery (I didn't feel anything with Cooper) but it really didn't bother me. I knew it was just my doctor bringing my baby to me. Then I heard "Oh my goodness this baby is huge Keshia!" (from my doctor). More pulling and tugging then she asks if we want a picture of her coming out (I did but was unsure if my squeamish husband could do it without passing out.) I remember asking why she wasn't crying. (It was because only her head was out) Then the rest of her came out and I heard her sweet cry! All I could say was "she's here! she's here!" Poor Jerry had to sit down a minute after taking my birth pictures for me before he could go to the baby.



Cooper holding his baby sister for the first time



He was making sure she latched right ;)

Then the doctor told me what would make me think about my second c-section in a completely different way. She said "I had to move her hand and the cord out from in front of your cervix." That's right. We were well on our way to another prolapsed cord. If my water had broken, Emma would have been in the same serious situation Cooper had been. I am so, so thankful we decided to have the c-section when we did. I wanted my VBAC so badly, but I wanted my little girl to be safe so much more. And she is. All 9 pounds 3 ounces and 21 inches of her!

Emma Marie
October 17, 2011  12:57 PM
9 lbs 3 oz  21 inches long

Endless Labor

Yes, I am still pregnant. And, no, I am not happy about it. If one more person tells me I need to be patient I will scream. I am tired, and this is getting old.

I had an appointment with my OB Wednesday. I was 1cm dilated. That is better than the 0 that I was last week so I was a little encouraged. A couple hours after my appointment, I started having contractions. These contractions steadily got stronger and closer through the day, much different than my usual contractions. Usually they start at 6pm in the evenings, stay all night, and then space back out around sunrise. So having consistent contractions through the day got my hopes up. Thursday morning came and the contractions were exactly the same. Thay have stayed exactly the same since. Yep, that's 4 days (and nights) of contractions 10 minutes apart. With no baby to show for it. I'm incredibly annoyed. Also? Today is my due date. I know its not an expiration date and yada yada yada but combined with the endless labor its salt in my wounds. Yes I'm whining. But its my blog and I can whine if I want to. If you would like to see more whining, feel free to check out my Twitter feed. There's plenty of whining going on over there. Especially since its seems like EVERYONE in my Twitterverse has given either birth or congratulated someone else who has this week.  Ok, end rant. I'm off to contract and try to get some rest.

The Waiting (& Whining) Game

I am now 38.5 weeks pregnant with baby Emma. She's turning out to be quite the little booger. First she decided at 26 weeks to try to come. Thankfuly she didn't, but I've had contractions ever since, which makes for a very uncomfortable 12.5 weeks. Then yesterday morning she stopped moving at a time when she is usually very active. After 2 glasses of very sweet tea and half a can of Dr. Pepper (which I hate), still no movement. So off to the hospital (an hour away) we go to check on her. She had a few tiny pokes on the way there, but it was still very unlike her and needed to hear her heartbeat. As soon as they put her on the monitors she started kicking like crazy. She hates those monitors so that didn't surprise me. Her heartbeat was "perfect and reactive" and they said she looked great. The OB on call, who I happen to love, said the same thing had happened to her, so I felt better. Still, I didn't feel too bad about it. Better safe than sorry.

And now the whining: My contractions have been playing with my emotions all week. I've been sure I was going into labor atleast 3 times this week, and then they fizzle out. Since I never expected to make it to 36 weeks, I now feel 2 weeks overdue. That makes those episodes of fake labor even more frustrating. I'm so so ready to not be pregnant anymore. So now I wait for Emma to get ready, and hope that its soon! :)

I'm so excited for birth this time. And not just because I want her out. I'm prepared. I WANT natural childbirth (yes, I'm VBACing since Cooper was a c-section). With Cooper I just expected to get an epidural as soon as possible. I never even considered going naturally. I can't wait to hold her and nurse her. Cooper is just as excited as I am to get her out. He literally begs me almost daily to "let her out." Oh, how I wish I could son.

Big Milestone for Baby Emma

Today Emma hit 35 weeks gestation. If she was born today, the chances she could breathe all on her own are very good. There was a time when I didn't know if we would make it to 30 weeks so I'm pretty excited about 35. I've still got some things to do and buy before her arrival. I'd like her to wait atleast a couple more weeks, but thinking about her coming now is a lot less scary than it was at 26 weeks, when she was just barely viable.

I only have one more progesterone shot and I'm pretty excited about that. The medicine is very thick which means a big needle. The shot doesn't bother me too much though; its the 3 days of soreness and 5-6 days of itching that gets to me. But if they are the reason Emma has stayed put, then I am thankful for the soreness and itching. I still have contractions almost constantly. Most of the time they stay pretty irregular, but there are times they get pretty close and regular. The closest they have gotten was 2-3 minutes apart and they stayed that way for a couple hours. I went to the L&D floor to get everything checked out and stop them if needed, but not long after we got there they slowed down to the irregular ones I had been having for 2 months. Some of them can be quite painful, but most are only slightly uncomfortable. Its like being in very early labor for 2.5 months. I believe active labor will be a nice change when it arrives.

Then there is the issue of knowing when it is real labor and not these that I've been having. Usually the rule is when they get to 3-5 minutes and stay that way for an hour you go to the hospital. Well, been there, done that and more and it wasn't labor. It will be interesting to see how that plays out since we live over an hour from the hospital. Hopefully I don't ignore them for too long thinking its nothing.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for next Friday to check size and position. Maybe I will remember to post those pictures!

Baby Emma: An Update

I had an appointment with my OB yesterday, to check my cervical length and do another fetal fibronection (fFN). She did the swab and asked about my contractions, all the while wearing the same worried look she had had ever since all this started almost 3 weeks ago. My contractions come and go, but for the past 2 days or so they have been increasingly painful, and I feel like I'm having a small panic attack during them (even the ones that don't hurt). I just can't breathe. With some of the smaller ones this is what alerts me to the fact I'm having one. Not long after the contraction is over the feeling goes away and I can breathe again. Still, its not a pleasant feeling. I mentioned this to her, and she said it was not unheard of and not something I should worry about. Whew, one less thing to worry about!

After I had my lovely shot, we proceeded to the ultrasound room. A cervical length measurement is taken best by vaginal ultrasound. Thankfully, this doesn't take long. While she was taking my cervical length she mentioned "oh, her head is right there." I immediately perked up and said "huh?? her head?? Are you sure?!" She said yes she thought was her head. Then we switched to the regular ultrasound to take quick a look at baby. Sure enough, Emma had finally gotten her head down where its supposed to be! She's not breech anymore!! I would have done a happy dance if I knew it would cause more contractions! After fighting with a very wiggly baby to get what she needed to see, the ultrasound was over and we went to my doctors office to wait to talk about the findings with her.

She came into the room reading my chart. I saw the worried look melt off her face when she read the ultrasound results. My cervix was 3.9 cm!! That is awesome! She even gave me a high five. She said she was "very reassured" and I could tell she was. Pending my fFN results which should be in sometime today, everything is stable right now. She also stated she was really doubtful that the fFN would be positive with my cervix looking this good.

Before I started taking the progesterone shots my contractions were shortening my cervix. Since I've been on the shot, yes I am still having contractions, but they don't seem to be affecting my cervix! I think that a positive result! So now I just keep taking the shots, and we monitor my cervical length and fFN. Its a waiting game, but atleast its looking a lot more positive now!

My Daughter is Making Me a Liar

In case you haven't noticed, I kind of suck at updating the blog in a timely manner. So again, if you want more timely updates, you can check my Twitter. A link is over there >>

Moving on, I went to the doctor last Monday, and she did a repeat cervical length by ultrasound. It was 4.6 and the funneling (where it was trying to open) was gone. This is a good thing!! However, I kept having the contractions off and on. Since I was still having contractions and my cervix is changing so much, my doctor and I decided it would be best if I start taking progesterone shots once a week. This is to help prevent preterm labor. I recieved the first one in the office on Tuesday and I go back this Tuesday for the second. I am going to try to give them to myself at home so I don't have to drive the hour to my doctor's office every week, but we will see how that goes. I'm not a fan of self-inflicted pain.

Wednesday night the contractions got a little to close for comfort so I decided to go to the hospital, just to make sure. And of course they stopped right after we got there. Emma looked good on the monitor, despite hating them and trying to kick them off the entire time. My cervix was closed, so they sent me home.

Last night (Saturday night) the contractions got very close, and very painful. They were 3-5 minutes apart and I was terrified. After attempting to make them go away by hydrating, I called the nurse on call and was told to go to the hospital right then. So we left. It takes an hour to get there. About half way there I noticed the contractions had slowed down significantly and they weren't near as painful. I called the nurse back and she said to still go. So we did. Once we got there we had to wait for them to get a room ready. While we were waiting, they stopped completely. So once again, after making sure Emma was looking ok, I was sent home.

This is a very frustrating waiting game. The contractions come and go, mostly coming at night. Most of the time they don't really hurt and stay atleast 10 minutes apart. I am hoping for no more trips to the hospital. We will see if she cooperates. The good news is the contractions are stopping on their own with no drugs. This is a good sign. I'm still a little annoyed that they only stop after we go to the hospital. That is going to get very expensive very fast. But I'd rather go and they go away than not go and it be real preterm labor. So, the short story is, now we wait. But, for now, things are pretty stable.

Emma is Being Difficult

This pregnancy is proving to be all around more difficult that Cooper's. Not only does she not cooperate during ultrasounds, now she's trying to scare Mommy to death too.

Thursday night I started having contractions. This went on for about 2 hours when I finally decided it was time to go to the hospital. (I talked to the nurse on call after it had been going on for an hour and she told me a few more things to try and stop them before I went.) About halfway to the hospital, they stopped. So I came home. So sense paying an ER visit for no reason. But I did call my doctor the next day to see if she wanted to see me, and she did.

Friday afternoon I went to the OB's office. She said asked about the frequency of the contractions and movement of the baby (No problems with movement. She's a wiggle worm like her brother, although not quite as much). Then she said that there were 2 tests she'd like to do that would give us a better idea of what's happening, measure my cervical length on ultrasound and do a fetal fibronectin test (from here on out referred to as fFN). My cervical length ended up being shorter than they'd like. It was 2.8 cm when they'd like it to be over 3 cm. Because of this she put me on modified bedrest over the weekend. The fFN test took a little while to get the results. But I was having contractions Friday night and had to call the nurse on call. She had the report and told me it had been negative (a good sign). We also saw during the ultrasound that Emma is still breech. That means if I do have to deliver, it will be a c-section unless she decides to flip.

So for now I am still on bedrest. I've been having contractions off and on all weekend, but nothing bad. They've stayed pretty far apart and are very mild. I go back to the doctor next week to check my cervical length again and that will probably decide what comes next. If you want more frequent updates (or want to hear how bored I am) you can follow me on Twitter. I'll try not to whine too much ;)

Making Educated Choices

In light of recent revisions in the AAP's recommendations for child restraints, I have been involved in and seen some debates over this issue. I think the research is clear on what is better, the longer the child can stay rear-facing, the better. If you watch the crash tests on YouTube, the evidence clearly favors this stance. Some believe this is "impractical." Personally, I don't care how impractical it is if it keeps my baby safer. Another choice I believe in getting educated in is birth, specifically having labor induced. There are certainly reasons to be induced, but having a big baby is NOT one of them. Those estimates can be off by a lot, and for most, the risks outweigh the benefits. I know by 37/38 weeks you are tired of being pregnant and just want the baby out. Trust me I've been there. My doctor suggested inducing and I was all for it. I wanted him out, and I trusted my doctor. I shouldn't have. The pitocin made my contractions almost unbearable. They were very close together, with no breaks between them. Then she broke my water and shortly after Cooper's cord prolapsed and we were racing to save his life. Maybe if I had known that 40% of inductions end in c-sections I would have waited for him to come in his own time and I might not have been sliced open. Yes, the c-section saved him, and I am thankful for that. But one intervention leads to another and, in my case, ended in major surgery. Not to mention, if your cervix isn't ready no amount of pitocin-induced contractions is going to get it fully dilated, and they will wheel you off to surgery. I'm not saying inductions aren't useful, but I think its worth it to do a little bit of research and make an informed decision.

Two years ago today..

at the very time this will post, my whole world changed. I became a mommy. Not only was I responsible for myself, but a whole other tiny life.

He isn't tiny anymore, but he's still my whole world! Happy birthday Cooper!

Cooper's Grand Entrance

Until 30 weeks my pregnancy was pretty much uneventful( except normal milestones like kicking and such). At 30 weeks I started having contractions at school. After they went on for about an hour I decided to call my doctor. By the time I got to the doctor they had stopped and I wasn't dilated. So I went home with instructions to only get up to the bathroom for a couple days. After that everything was fine and went on normally.
At 35 weeks, I couldn't sleep for some reason one night. At about 3 in the morning I found out why. I started vomiting. After the first time I started having strong contractions. I waited to see if they would stop and they didn't. I called the dr and went to the hospital. They checked me and I was 2 cm. They gave me an IV and the contractions stopped. I went home. That evening the contractions started again. I waited and they wouldn't stop so on to the hospital again. I was still 2 cm when I got there. They gave me an IV again and waited. The contractions weren't stopping this time. They checked me again and I was 3 cm and 50% effaced. I was then admitted for observation. I had to stay all night. Overnight the contractions stopped and I was allowed to go home.
For the next 4 weeks I stayed 3 cm. I was so over being pregnant. I wanted my baby! Coop was growing fast. At 38 weeks my doctor did an ultra sound and decided he was ready to come out. My induction was scheduled for the following Monday at 2 am.
We got up and headed to the hospital that morning. I was checked in, put in a hospital gown, and given an IV and cervidil. It was supposed to get my cervix ready for labor but it threw me straight into labor by 3 am. My contractions were one on top of the other with no break between. A nurse came to my room with pain medicine and asked if I wanted any. I didn't want it but I needed it so I took it. My doctor broke my water and advised me to get my epidural before she started pitocin. The epidural was awful. It hurt SOOO bad. The needle wasn't what hurt though; when the anesthesiologist was trying to postition it he kept hitting nerves in my back and sending waves of pain down my legs and through my back. This was the worst part of the whole thing.
By this time I was 5 cm but Cooper's heart rate kept diving with my contractions. They thought it was because the cord was being compressed because of the lack of fluid and to put in a monitor that would also pump in more fluid to cushion the cord. When a nurse was checking me to do this she got a strange look on her face and asked me or my husband to push the call button. I did and she told the nurse that answered that she needed more people and to call my doctor and get her over there. Then she said the word I will never forget: prolapsed cord.
For those of you that don't know, a prolapsed cord is when the umbilical cord is coming out before the baby. This means when the mother has a contraction, the babies head cuts off all of its blood flow and oxygen. It is a very dangerous emergency situation.
The nurse that found it stayed between my legs holding Cooper's head up off the cord. Other nurses ran frantically around the room unhooking monitors and such. They threw a sheet over the nurse between my legs and she stayed there on the ride to the operating room. When we got to the operating room, Jerry had to wait outside while they got me ready and he had to put on scrubs. I saw my doctor in the next room washing her hands, putting on scrubs,etc. When she came in the room she came straight over to me and said, "You and the baby are going to be just fine. We are going to get him out." This made me feel a little better, even though I was still bawling like a baby. They let Jerry back in and get stood by my head. They put the curtain up in front of my face but they did it so quickly if I had stretched my neck a little I could have seen everything they did! I did NOT want to see that! Just a couple minutes later I heard a baby cry. At first it was so surreal I didn't think I was Cooper, but just for a second. Then Jerry put his face against mine and we both cried. Then Jerry brought Coop over to me so I could see him. I was shaking all over and a little sick so all I could do was smile. from the time the nurse found the prolapsed cord to the moment he cried took only 7 minutes! Cooper was born at 12:05 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 2 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long.
About an hour after he was born I was wheeled into recovery. By this time I was only shaking slighty and was way more alert. I was handed the most beautiful bundle of blankets I had ever seen. I will never forget those first precious moments with my baby boy. He then got a bath and I nursed him. His oxygen saturation levels stayed at 100% but he was grunting a little so they did lung xrays. I went back to my room and 3 hours later (really only about 30 minutes) they brought him back from his xrays. Jerry and I held him and our families held him then he nursed again.
We spent 3 more days in the hospital because I was not sleeping. Cooper wouldn't sleep in his bassinet and they won't let you sleep with your baby in the bed so I stayed up and held him so that he could sleep. I was so exhausted and had a couple panic attacks so my doctor made me stay an extra night and let Cooper go to the nursery. It killed me but I let him. On January 15 we brought our baby boy home. We are so happy to have him and almost losing him made us extra thankful! He is the most wonderful blessing!