Why Cooper Doesn't "Cry It Out"

*** First a disclaimer. I know many of you believe in "crying it out" and that's fine. To each their own. This is just why I don't parent that why, not why I think no one should.

1. I just hate to hear him cry. I always have. I've never been able to just sit in the next room while he screams his little head off. It just seems cruel to me.

2. Babies cry for a reason. Yes, even at almost 2, he cries for a reason. Sometimes it is just that he needs some attention and some cuddling, and I'm happy to oblige. But nonetheless still a reason. Yes I am aware that older babies and toddlers do figure out how to manipulate. But really I don't think Cooper should have to manipulate me to get his needs met. Even his snuggle needs.

3. Who likes to sleep all alone in a dark room? Not me. So why would I expect an almost 2 year old to?

4. Some say sleeping alone teaches independence, I would have to disagree. I think it teaches, "Mommy isn't going to listen to me so I might as well shut up and stop asking for her." Cooper knows if he needs me I'll always be there for him. No matter what the need. I think that makes him more comfortable in venturing out and exploring without me holding his hand.

5. I'm gone to school during the day and have to study most afternoons when I get home. Bedtime is our time together. Neither of us is willing to give that up.

6. My last reason is simple. It is what works for us. Every parent is different. Every baby is different. We all do what works best for us at any given time. If a decision we make stops working for our family we can revise our parenting style.

The Anti-Attachment Parent

It is no secret I am in love with attachment parenting. I have breastfed Cooper for 16 months (almost) and counting. He sleeps with me every night and has since we came home from the hospital. I love baby-wearing, but Cooper has outgrown both of the baby-wearing devices I have. (I'm in the process of aquiring new one, hopefully soon!) I would LOVE to cloth diaper, but finances prevent it right now. I was not raised with attachment parents. I was not breastfed, slept in my own bed for the most part, was not worn, and wore a cloth diaper only when I had diaper rash. There is nothing wrong with that. Its just not how I've chosen to parent. I have no idea what led me to parenting this way. It certainly wasn't my husband.

My husband, while mostly supportive of the parenting choices I make, can only be described the anti-attachment parent. He was supportive of my decision to breastfeed, but his exact words were "They are your boobs; that is your decision." He would have been just as happy if I had chosen to use formula. He did sleep with his parents for a very short time as an infant, but he still would be very happy if Cooper slept in his own bed now. (For very obvious reasons that I shouldn't have to spell out for you) He could care less about baby-wearing. He did use the sling a grand total of one time when Cooper was about 3 weeks old. Since then he has been perfectly happy to push a stroller. He flat out said no to cloth diapering when I mentioned it a few months ago. I didn't push it because the finances are not there, but when the time comes to plan for Baby #2, I will get my research together and push it.

One big thing we do not agree on is spanking. I do not want our children spanked. For many reasons, but a few of them: (1) Teaching a child not to hit by hitting them is just plain stupid, (2) Parents shouldn't hurt their children, and (3) I don't think it is effective punishment. I was spanked and so was Jerry. Yet, we both have very different views about this form of punishment. He thinks it is the only way to make a child mind. I know this isn't true, but, besides time-out, I can't think of anything else. Time-out just isn't very effective at this age. But I refuse to spank or let Cooper be spanked by anyone else. I don't want Cooper to be one of those kids no one wants to be around. (You probably have a few in mind as you read this.) But I'm not sure what else to try. Any ideas??

A Stuffy Nose and a Watchful Mommy

Last night was no fun at all. Cooper is getting a cold so he can't breathe through his nose. Even after using saline and a bulb suction thing several times a day he's still stuffy. My nana bought him a Nap Nanny. Its a very expensive sleeping device that keeps baby elevated helping with stuffy noses, ear infections, GERD, etc. When I tried to put Cooper in it last night I discovered he is too tall for it now. So on to Plan B! I had a pregnancy wedge pillow made by Boppy that was a god-send in the last couple months of my pregnancy. I laid Cooper on it, and it worked perfectly! The wedge plus the humidifier kept him breathing comfortably! The only problem was I couldn't sleep because I was so nervous about him sleeping on a pillow! Therefore I stayed awake watching him for the first sign of smothering! I finally convinced myself he would be ok and fell asleep sometime after 5:30 AM. Needless to say it was a rough night and got even more rough when he decided to wake up at 7:00 AM when Daddy got home! Thankfully my wonderful husband kept him for a couple hours so I could get a little sleep. By that time Cooper was ready for a nap so I got to sleep a couple more hours! So thankful for my wonderful husband that worked all night and came home and watched the baby so I could sleep!

2/3 of Our Family Bed

This was taken at a cabin in Crossville. We went to watch Jerry's sister, KD, play in a softball tournament but I had an ear infection and Coop was just getting over one so we stayed in the cabin all day, alternating between sleeping and watching an NCIS marathon :)

Christmas!!!!

Its bad when you can hide your baby's christmas presents in his crib and know he won't see them! Cooper has never spent the first night in his crib. He actually has never even napped in it. He spent about an hour in his pack and play the first night he was home, woke up to nurse and we've had a family bed ever since. I swore up and down before he was born he would never sleep with me. Co-sleeping was not a conscious choice me or Jerry made. Cooper made it for us. And now looking back at how close it made us and all of the bonding time we wouldn't have had otherwise I don't think I would change it. Although I would definately have inforced him napping by himself instead of always being held for naps. Most nights we love our family bed!