Since I was a sophomore in high school I have had panic attacks. I start crying (sometimes for no reason at all) and soon I can't breathe at all. Sometimes I will pass out, but most of the time I can get it under control before that happens.
I was on medicine prior to getting pregnant with my first baby and for the first few weeks of the pregnancy because I didn't know that I was pregnant. I believe this may have been part of the reason I lost that baby, but I don't know. I blamed myself because of it. I never resumed medication after I miscarried.
After Cooper was born, I got postpartum depression; his traumatic birth, not sleeping, and my history of anxiety were probably contributing factors. I had a really bad panic attack in the it hospital when Cooper was 2 days old. The nurses put the oxygen saturation thingy (yes that is a technical term) on me when the attack was almost over and it was only 80%. When it was almost over! This (and not sleeping) caused me to have to spend another night in the hospital instead of taking my baby boy home. My doctor prescribed Zoloft and I was to take it until he was at least 6 months old.
When he was around 6 months old I forgot to get my prescription filled for about a week. When i remembered I realized I hadn't had it for a whole week and I felt fine! So I decided not to get it filled. I did fine. No major panic attacks. Only a couple minor ones in a span of about 5 months.
Now everything has changed. Since January, I am a full time student and along with that comes some major stress. Add to that being a wife and mother and its almost too much. Since I started school my anxiety has gotten progressively worse. I knew I had my yearly check up scheduled for this week, and planned on discussing this with her. Not a moment to soon. This past week I have had a breakdown just about everyday. Little things set me off. I feel like there is a huge weight on my chest that just won't go away. I discussed this with my doctor yesterday and she asked if I got any time by myself just for me besides school. No. Jerry works thirds so he is rarely available to even help with Cooper. It's difficult to make the time to do the work for my online classes because of our conflicting schedules. This really stresses me out. I make good grades. Its just who I am. And so far I have made good grades; they just aren't as good as I would like. She said that absolutely going back on my Zoloft would be a good thing. She also suggested that I take some time for myself. Easier said than done. Also, she suggested that I get more active, such as taking Cooper on a walk or something like that. This is easier. Cooper loves to swim and my grandparents, who live next door, have a pool. I have a feeling we will be in the pool everyday. Now it just needs to get warm so we can get out there!
I will update you on how all this goes. I feel much better now that I have gotten it out.
On a brighter note, I lost 5 pounds!
This was Cooper's favorite! A buden buden of course!
He loved the slide!
They played well together!
He insisted that I let him climb the very tall slide's steps by himself. With Mommy right behind him of course! And then we went down the slide together :)
That afternoon we visited a local ice cream shop, where Cooper goy his very first baby cone! He did great eating by himself! Just a few drops on his shirt!
.jpg)
Posts
